Seeing and Being Wonder
Queen Sugar character Nova Bordelon
Queen Sugar, an OWN series created by Ava Duvernay, is a show Greg and I have enjoyed for several seasons. The series has taken us on a journey with the Bordelon family as they refocused their efforts to cultivate the land of their ancestors. In a recent episode, the eldest, Nova Bordelon, and her new friend and neighbor, Dominic, were touring a Louisiana Plantation, taking in the tragedy of the lives brutalized and lost. They made their way into a historic church and sat in a pew, taking in the surroundings with deep reverence. Nova’s gaze came to rest on a young girl, maybe eight years old, who was admiring sculptures of people just like herself, but from a horrific time gone by. As she watched the beautiful, melanin-enriched child touch the sculptures in awe, Nova whispered, “We are the wonder.”
Wonder: something or someone that is very surprising, beautiful, amazing.
Nova’s words encompassed generations of a people who fought to let their wonder shine and be recognized. Through her gaze, she saw and appreciated the beauty of all the young girl represented. She recognized her as worthy. As we gaze on something with wonder, we can project curiosity, admiration and even amazement in what we behold.
Activist and filmmaker, Valerie Kaur
As I was listening to lawyer, filmmaker, and civil rights activist Valerie Kaur discuss the work of her Revolutionary Love Project and new book, See No Stranger on the podcast “The Wild,” I heard her advocate that we see through wonder—as a way of being—to let wonder lead us.
In an excerpt from See No Stranger, Kaur explains her perception of wonder:
Seeing no stranger begins in wonder. It is to look upon the face of anyone and choose to say: You are a part of me I do not yet know. Wonder is the wellspring for love… It is easy to wonder about the internal life of the people closest to us. It is harder to wonder about people who seem like strangers or outsiders. But when we choose to wonder about people we don’t know, when we imagine their lives and listen for their stories, we begin to expand the circle of who we see as part of us. We prepare ourselves to love beyond what evolution requires.
Wonder is where love begins, but the failure to wonder is the beginning of violence. Once people stop wondering about others, once they no longer see others as part of them, they disable their instinct for empathy. And once they lose empathy, they can do anything to them, or allow anything to be done to them. Entire institutions built to preserve the interests of one group of people over another depend on this failure of imagination.
— Valarie Kaur, See No Stranger, Chapter 1 and Appendix
Kaur has created a learning hub to practice revolutionary love, beginning with reflection on these questions to develop wonder:
1. How can the practice of wonder help us “see no stranger” and love others?
2. What are the challenges of practicing wonder for others?
3. What do we lose or risk by not wondering about others?
4. What becomes possible for us and for our nation when we practice wonder and “seeing no stranger”?
Yes, we can see and be the wonder.
Our empathetic gaze of wonder is a powerful connector of relational grace where I open and welcome space for you in my frame of being.
