Revealing Greatness Through Empathy and Forgiveness
Anthony & Michelle Martin, Urban Youth Racing School, and Kyle Larson on CBS This Morning
I find myself consciously seeking out the stories that have framed much of my writing this past year—those that give glimpses into the wonder of the human spirit in every day interactions. When I heard the story of Kyle Larson and Michelle and Anthony Martin, it reaffirmed the power of relational grace to shift the trajectory of relationships, reveal life lessons, and unleash unrealized people potential. I believe that relational grace and the inherent virtues that manifest are our gateway to a brighter future.
Kyle Larson is a twenty-eight-year-old six-time NASCAR-winning driver. In mid-2020, while participating in a live virtual racing event, Larson used the ‘N’ word in what he thought was an off-hand, inconsequential manner. The consequences were swift. Larson was fired from his racing team, suspended from NASCAR, and lost his sponsors.
Newly reinstated, Larson credits African-American couple Michelle and Anthony Martin, co-founders of the Urban Youth Racing School, with reviving his racing career. Since 1998, more than 7,600 students of color have gone through various UYRS programs. The Build A Dream program, a 10-week course for kids aged 8-18, teaches science, technology, engineering and mathematics through a motorsports lens, and prepares students for a career in professional racing. Larson had been involved in the school for a number of years.
The Martins stood by Larson during his challenging time. Co-founder Michelle Martin framed her support of Larson through two lenses: First, she wanted to know if Kyle was speaking from a place of integrity, or, just sorry he got caught. After their conversation, she concluded that the “real” Kyle Larson had made a mistake and needed help to understand what he really did by using that racial slur. Second, Michelle and Anthony embrace a heart-felt mission of giving second chances, as evidenced by the youth in their programs.
Michelle says, “If we cancel everyone, we’ll never know the greatness that people have to offer”—an important life lesson that the Martins want their students to see, understand, and hopefully, employ when opportunities arise for them to give someone a second chance.
To better understand how he had erred, Larson proactively sought help through sensitivity and diversity training, visiting The Legacy Museum: From Enslavement to Mass Incarceration in Montgomery, Alabama, as well as having conversations with people of color to frame the historical pain and degradation deeply buried in that word. Noting that this experience has helped him grow more in the past six months than in all his twenty-eight years, Larson pointed out the ripple effect on people in his circle learning and behaving differently after seeing what he had been through. They no longer use the ‘N’ word.
Kyle Larson and Michelle Martin
The Martins gave Larson a chance to move beyond his error and not have his character perpetually defined by that moment. They opened an avenue paved with trust that Larson stepped onto with humility and a sincere desire to do and be better. Larson’s $100,000 gift to the racing school is only one expression of his commitment to be a more virtuous human being. Both he and the Martins feel that their relationship is on solid ground.
In creating his Truth and Reconciliation Commission as an alternative to what he saw would be a cycle of violence, Bishop Desmond Tutu said, “Without forgiveness, there is no future.”
Relational grace creates the space for forgiveness—to move beyond fear and to process pain, suffering, and even guilt. The power of forgiveness is a scaffolding to support the repair and reconciliation needed to reforge relationships and acknowledge another’s humanity. In our shared vulnerability, we co-create and presence a future-tone in a mutual energy of intention.
We can be the ember to spark greatness when it has yet to find its way to the light through a selfless act of courage.
