The Multiplier Effect of Interdependence
Thomas Hubl
Two stories I heard recently had me thinking about interdependence and reminded me of a statement I heard by teacher, author, and facilitator Thomas Hubl. He said: “Maturity is the conscious experience of interdependence, through which we can grasp the difference between ‘thinking about’ and ‘thinking as.’”
“Thinking about” can keep us apart, siloed, and fragmented. You can stand from a distance and observe someone or something, not connect in any authentic manner, and simply ruminate about your observation. This may or may not lead to any action to change the circumstances at hand.
“Thinking as” can remove barriers so we can shift into a space of making soul connections with those around us. There is an intentional opening, seeking coherence and mutual benefit.
The first story was about Gabrielle Perry—a young woman who illegally took money from a work study program while in college. She was caught and charged with twenty-seven felonies. Perry went before Judge Higginbotham, who, instead of sentencing her to jail time, allowed her to return to school. Reflectively, Perry said, “There was so much humanity in that moment.” Fast forward through three months of bathing out of a bucket and walking three miles to work because she was homeless, studying to acquire three degrees, and establishing a foundation in her father’s name, Perry more than rose to the challenge of becoming her best self.
Perry says that Judge Higginbotham saved her life, and because of that she was able to help save the lives of others. Higginbotham keeps the letter of gratitude Perry wrote to him on his desk, telling Perry that it inspires him every day as he does his work. The Thurman Perry Foundation, named after her father, provides financial assistance and resources to incarcerated women at the Louisiana Woman’s Prison. The prison warden provided the opportunity for Perry to regularly supply feminine products for the women. Perry sees her work there as giving the women a sense of purpose—as one inmate said through tears of gratitude, there is “Purpose in the pain, purpose in the opposition, purpose in the tears.” Perry brought a sense of dignity and worth to these incarcerated women.
Relationships were formed through interdependence—between the judge and Perry, between Perry and the warden of the prison, between Perry and the inmates–each gaining something soulful from the other.
We Dine Together: Lunchtime Connections
The second story shone a spotlight on Denis Estimon, a Haitian immigrant and senior at Boca High School in Florida. Estimon came to this country not knowing how to speak or read English. His experience of feeling isolated and left out is what motivated him to create We Dine Together—a group of students who would find, sit with, and talk to other students who were alone at lunch time.
One of the students, Jean Max Meradieu, was so motivated to participate in We Dine Together that he gave up playing on the football team, and potentially a scholarship, to join the lunch program. The impact of the program on other students meant that much to him.
For the past five years, Estimon has set up We Dine Together programs in 2,000 counties and travels across the US speaking about the impact of his program.
The interdependence is what jumped out for me in these stories. We depend on each other—for compassion, empathy, connection, inspiration, and love. By forging interdependencies, we deepen our sense of who we are in relation to others. Understanding how these bonds can powerfully impact ourselves and our relationships is a testament to the depth of our interdependence.
The individuals in these stories displayed a leadership steeped in the synergy of interdependence—a mutual reliance that strengthens our capacity to offer the fullness of our humanity. Each person made a difference—each “thinking as” instead of “thinking about, so that our web of interdependence can be woven by a deeper, more expansive maturity.
Today, Greg, Amiel Handelsman and I will participate with Steve McIntosh, author of Developmental Politics, on a panel at the 2022 Integral Practitioner Convergence. The session is titled Cultural Intelligence: A Crucial Leadership Skill for Our Time. It will take place on Friday, May 6 at 9:30am PDT/12:30pm EDT.
Secure your spot here (it's free) and join the Convergence.
