The Impact of Inner Silence

In his post last week, Greg shared that we recently facilitated a full-day workshop for twenty CEOs at the beautiful Eldred Preserve in the Catskills. He wrote that one of the main elements from our workshop was what we call a “Mastery Quest.”

Part of our Mastery session focused on an essential component: The Art of Deep Listening, or in jazz terms, “Big Ears.” We moved through the first two levels of listening—active and empathic—then settled into the highest level: soulful, generative listening. We define this level of listening as a dynamic act of co-creation--thinking and feeling together, which opens the way to collective meaning and shared understanding. Jazz musicians strive to be consistently at this level as they tune into where their bandmates are taking the song’s rendition.

At the end of the workshop, we asked the participants to share a takeaway and one action step. We were gratified by the extent and depth of the insights and takeaways that participants experienced. It’s always revelatory to hear what resonated with people the most.  One of takeaways mentioned was the following line from the soulful listening portion of the workshop:

“Soulful listening is the art of developing more profound silences within yourself.”

Participants expressed a deep resonance with this concept, saying that it can help them become more aware about how they listen, and by developing high intention and attention, they can be more successful at work and home. So true. Soulful listening is about building relational harmony and connecting with the possible.

Silence, or a rest as it is sometimes called in music, can create contrast, heighten tension, change dynamics and rhythm to shape the listener’s experience. Intentionally placed silence can add to the listener’s emotional connection to the ebb and flow of the musical journey.

In our communication:

Silence provides space, an opening for reflection to ponder and mull.

Silence can create a bridge to connect intention and meaning.

Silence can emphasize the gravity of what was said.

Silence can exude patience—both in formulating a thoughtful response and allowing the other to fully express.

Silence can be part of a feedback loop to gauge just where the conversation is going and what pivots may be required.

Noticing the pauses in conversations can help restructure the rhythm and flow of the communication.

LL Cool J on CBS Sunday Morning

Painting on Silence

In a recent CBS This Morning interview, rap artist and actor LL Cool J said that the experience of making and sharing his music was magical. His job, he said, is to go into a room and “paint on silence,” present it to the world, and have people enjoy it. The image of “painting on silence” conjured up colors, movement, texture and depth, in a panoply of never-ending possibilities.

The use of silence can bring shades of subtlety, capturing nuance as we figure out what those silent moments are communicating to us. A powerful element of silence is that it allows us to bring our other nonverbal communication skills into play. Our gestures, eye contact, facial expressions, and postures can become part of a full-bodied communication exchange.  

I find pauses and silence throughout conversation a source for deepening awareness and intuition. They allow me to settle into the spoken words and determine what meaning and value they have for me. We don't always have to always fill a void of silence. There may be some discomfort or awkwardness when nothing is being said, but if we think of silence like LL Cool J—we can make it a part of our communication canvas.

Making silence more profound is the art of caring and the skill of perfecting genuine presence—both of which can serve us on our leadership journey.