The Epitome of Radical Grace
Kaylah Spring is a freshman at the University of Kentucky. She appeared with her mother, Betsey Spring, on CBS This Morning to speak out about being assaulted and denigrated at the hands (literally) of a fellow student—a white female senior. During the ten-minute assault, the attacker, Sophie Rosing, used the “n” word some 200 times, as she kicked, hit, and even attempted to bite Kaylah. Rosing has yet to apologize.
The story was horrific, maddening. I felt all levels of emotional reaction—from anger at the dehumanizing treatment to a sense of pride in the measured response of the young woman at the brunt of said treatment. It is both inspiring and infuriating to highlight these stories. An undeniable level of integrity and strength displayed in moments of devasting treatment is what makes it crucial to recognize them.
Standing in her truth, before a crowd of supporters on the college campus, Kaylah started her remarks: “My name is Kaylah Spring, “My name is Kaylah Spring,” as tears streamed down her face.
During the interview, Kaylah’s mom, Betsey, apologized to her for initially suggesting that she not speak publicly—out of fear of what else could possibly happen to her daughter. Betsey also affirmed that Kaylah’s ingrained values of respect, honor, and grace can be even more compelling ways of fighting back—rather than the violence one of the interviewers suggested some would expect or resort to. To her credit, Kaylah said that she hoped this was a learning opportunity for her attacker and those who thought like her.
Both Betsey and Kaylah realized the magnitude of who she [Kaylah] is as a result of her traumatic experience. Whatever her life path, I feel assured that Kaylah’s leadership qualities of empathy, courage, integrity, and resilience will continue to serve her well as she navigates the vicissitudes of life.
In 2021, I wrote about this level of grace in several posts, one of which I’m re-sharing below. Across the nation, we will be gifting millions of dollars in material things during the upcoming Christmas holiday. Radical Grace is a soulful gift that can bring deeper, more long-lasting impact for the giver and the receiver.
Radical Grace: Human to Human Gifting
A recent New York Times Magazine advice column featured a query from a woman lamenting the treatment of an elder black woman being harassed by two white men as they waited behind her in line. The men kept moving up close behind the elder (what social distancing?), as they taunted and berated her for moving too slowly and shuffling. She ignored them. Witnessing this bad behavior, the woman was obviously disturbed enough to write in for suggestions on what she could have done to help the elder. When we fail to act in similar instances, it can weigh heavily on our heart and our soul yearns to correct the wrong perpetrated on another.
Some months ago, I wrote a post entitled “Soulful Grace in the Face of Adversity.” I was moved and inspired by the many instances I was seeing of individuals doing something they didn’t have to that was mindful of the needs of another person. Whether it was Christian Cooper (of the Central Park incident) defending his accuser’s right to her livelihood or Jacob Blake Jr.’s mother, Julia Jackson, praying with a police officer after Jacob was shot seven times by another officer. These moments of Grace illuminate the best in us and speak to a greater purpose beyond ourselves.
We need radical Grace—intentional, beautiful, conscious human to human gifting of Spirit Blessings that strengthen our connective tissue and fortify our physical and psychological wellbeing. We need to be purposeful about recognizing and acting from this place of Being.
Mickey Guyton is the first black female solo artist to be nominated for a Grammy in country music. She will also be the first black female artist to co-host the Academy of Country Music Awards this weekend. Guyton talked recently about the challenge of getting to this point in her career and the strength it took to keep going. The result of writing her truth, as encouraged by her husband, was the Grammy-nominated “Black Like Me.” Guyton recounted an instance when she did a signing after a show: as she was about to hug a fan, someone walked by and said, “Everybody’s waiting for the ‘N’ word”—to which Guyton replied, “God Bless you.”
A radical gifting of Grace . . .
A Network of Grace
Consider a version of radical Grace in nature: mycorrhizal (fungi) networks are vast, interdependent subterranean systems that facilitate resource sharing. Millions of species of fungi and roots of trees form interconnected webs throughout the woods. In constant dialogue, the trees communicate with each other to transfer water, nitrogen, carbon and other minerals as needed. Hub trees (older, more seasoned “mother trees”) detect the ill health of their neighbors from distress signals and send them needed nutrients. Research suggests that trees have developed complex symbiotic relationships for species survival. Connectivity and exchange are integral to the mycorrhizal network.
We could do well with more connectivity and exchange.
A Home Run Leads to Grace
Josh Scott and his father are diehard Philly baseball fans—they drove four hours from North Carolina to Atlanta for the Braves vs Philly game. It was Josh’s first game, and they made an agreement that if he caught a Braves home run ball, he would throw it back. Josh caught and dropped a Braves home run ball twice. When he finally secured the ball, he did something contrary to the agreement he made with his father. Josh tossed the ball to a young fan wearing a Braves jersey.
Josh’s father said that this is simply Josh’s “normal and natural rhythm.” When asked what prompted him to give the ball away, Josh said, “That’s just how our family rolls. I was just trying to brighten someone’s day and it went viral. I was like ‘Wow.’ All I was doing was giving him a ball.” He added, “You doing anything to brighten someone’s day can change a person’s mindset. You can always help other people. Small acts of kindness can meet a lot.”
A radical gifting of Grace . . .
Grace is not only for special or traumatic situations—and it should not be reserved for those we care about the most. When you do something unexpected for someone who may or may not be deserving, it raises the bar for all of us to aspire to.
What if, like the mycorrhizal network, we help facilitate the health and wellbeing of all those around us every instance of every day that we are able?
What would it look like if we were the bearers of radical Grace and made gifting people our normal and natural rhythm?
