Mirroring: Fuel for Collaboration
Michelle Burford identifies as a collaborator and a story architect. She has co-written books with the likes of broadcast journalist Robin Roberts, film and tv actress Cicely Tyson and musician Alicia Keys. In a recent New York Times article about ghostwriters, Burford says she considers herself a vessel, so that the voice of her client “can come through as clearly as possible.”
Burford knows exactly why she sits down with an author—to serve as a compassionate guide. She achieves this guidance by asking thoughtful questions. Burford says that she sees her role as collaborative and strives to make her co-writers as comfortable as possible so they will open up. There is a great deal of empathy in Burford’s approach—showing genuine interest, using deep listening skills (Big Ears), and positive non-verbal communication. Burford is so invested in her collaborative process that she will mirror her clients—whether through attire or demeanor—so more similarities than differences can be revealed between them.
Mirroring, an facet of developing rapport, creates harmony and attunement in body language through gestures, posture, facial expressions, rhythm of breath, tone, and energy level, to increase connection and bonding. Nerve cells in our brain called mirror neurons are responsible for mirroring, which can be either conscious or unconscious. Subtle nonverbal cues coordinate the pace and timing of conversations and body movement. We become animated –we’re in limbic synchrony.
Burford’s perspective resonates with me as collaboration is the essence of jazz, with musicians continually striving to co-create and play the best music they can together. The rapport that aligns the group purpose and goals is the engine that drives the process of creation.
Building rapport creates a close, harmonious relationship and connection with focused responsiveness. Each person feels fully seen and heard. You are aware of being experienced, which enables us to build trust. Rapport requires full attention--taking the time to fully explore, discover, and watch as things shift and change. Full attention also helps our brains rewire, allowing for more co-creative solutions. We achieve this by using questions to cultivate openness and creativity, invite exploration, resist easy answers, and evoke emotion.
Burford says that she aims to captivate her readers from the first sentence. Several #1 bestsellers are a testament to her collaborative style of getting out of the way so her co-writer’s story can shine.
